Category Archives: Death & Dying

Red Light, Green Light, In Between Light

A day or two before New Years my grandmother called me. She wanted to know how I was feeling. And doing. My infant daughter had died in October. My mom’s dad in September. My other grandfather, Noni’s husband, months before … Continue reading

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Body Surf

Remember when I mentioned that sometimes I bulldoze my way in with thoughts and recommendations? Yeah? Today I share some of those because they’ve been important to me. Maybe for you, too. You’ll know. So, here is something I learned about loss … Continue reading

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My Down and Dirty

I didn’t know it’s Suicide Prevention Awareness Week. Didn’t even know it existed. Seems like something I‘d know, doesn’t it? So sue me. I’m aware of the Out of Darkness overnight walk. My son and I occasionally say, Next year we’ll do it, but … Continue reading

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Insides and Outsides

I’d always been round. A chubby child. Pleasantly plump. Pink cheeks on fair skin. Dark, dark, wavy hair. A cherubic babe from a Renaissance painting born to a later era. I felt like a near-miss. Mine is the least reliable … Continue reading

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If You Hear Tears in the Night

I didn’t know my son, whose second floor bedroom was above mine, could easily hear me sob at night. Tears held back in daylight came to find me then. Sorrow already surfaced recycled in the dark. Switching sides of the … Continue reading

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The Victim Is The Murderer

Journal Entry                                                                                                 March 18, 1993 Who is the man who murdered himself in our garage? Who’s the man who took such liberty with my life, and with my son’s? Who hated me … Continue reading

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The First Bite

It’s difficult believing how many years have passed since my husband’s sudden death. My son was 11. He is now 30. I’m remarried. I live in a different city with a different husband, a different career, and a changed life. … Continue reading

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