Category Archives: Grief

My Down and Dirty

Posted on September 10, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

I didn’t know it’s Suicide Prevention Awareness Week. Didn’t even know it existed. Seems like something I’d know, doesn’t it? So sue me. I’m aware of the Out of Darkness overnight walk. My son and I occasionally say, Next year we’ll do … Continue reading →

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Un-Ringing

Posted on August 31, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

I remember what I wore that day. What my boy was wearing. We never wore those clothes again. We gave them away. Down to my favorite red winter coat with black velvet trim. I had looked at my watch. My … Continue reading →

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Insides and Outsides

Posted on August 24, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

I’d always been round. A chubby child. Pleasantly plump. Pink cheeks on fair skin. Dark, dark, wavy hair. A cherubic babe from a Renaissance painting born to a later era. I felt like a near-miss. Mine is the least reliable memory … Continue reading →

Posted in Grief, Loss, Memoir, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , | 94 Comments

If You Hear Tears in the Night

Posted on June 16, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

I didn’t know my son, whose second floor bedroom was above mine, could easily hear me sob at night. Tears held back in daylight came to find me then. Sorrow already surfaced recycled in the dark. Switching sides of the … Continue reading →

Posted in Back to Life, Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Memoir, Suicide, Support | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The Victim Is The Murderer

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

Journal Entry                                                                                                 March 18, 1993 Who is the man who murdered himself in our garage? Who’s the man who took such liberty with my life, and with my son’s? Who hated me … Continue reading →

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Something Beautiful

Posted on April 11, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

Vicki carried the orchid to work one morning and set it on my desk. A white phalaenopsis nearly two feet tall in a beautiful cachepot nestled in a florist’s white gift box. Spanish moss covered the redwood planting bark. Three willowy bloom … Continue reading →

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Support the Support

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

Meet my force field. When my husband died I had a group of strong, empathic, pragmatic, and compassionate women surrounding me, a loving albeit bereft family, and the men for whom I worked urging me back to my job (though in … Continue reading →

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The Fine Print

Posted on February 4, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

This is what you need to know about this blog. Sometimes there will be journal entries. And sometimes there will be reflections, observations or stories about a point in time after my husband’s death. Occasionally you’ll find a combination or … Continue reading →

Posted in Grief, Loss, Memoir, Support | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments