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Category Archives: Death & Dying
Gin and Letting Go
My dad drank Bombay. Bombay gin on the rocks. “Not Sapphire”, which he thought was too strong and ruined the flavor, and repeated emphatically. He drank it twice a year, maybe thrice. His birthday on the 19th of February, and Christmas. Very … Continue reading →
Posted in Death & Dying, Loss, Memoir, pamela hester king
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Tagged anniversary blues, Bombay, dads, gin, loss, Memoir
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Sometimes is Every Autumn
Sometimes I’m so sad I need a moment. It doesn’t last a minute. My eyes rim with tears. They don’t hit my cheek. I hear my thoughts, collect myself and say, “This isn’t helpful. What might be?” I think of … Continue reading →
Posted in Acknowlegement, Back to Life, Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Memoir, pamela hester king, Support
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Healing
Today Facebook reminded me that five years ago I made a post on my late husband’s birthday. He was 73 on that day. I didn’t need reminding. I already knew he’d be 78 today. I remembered yesterday, and this morning … Continue reading →
Posted in Back to Life, Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Memoir, pamela hester king, Suicide
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Tagged healing, surviving
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Don’t Give Up
Last year after the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain I published a post titled, “And Then There’s Suicide”, seeking to shine a light on the legacy suicide leaves for its survivors. Super Bowl Sunday Kristoff St. John was added to … Continue reading →
Posted in Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Memoir, pamela hester king, Suicide, Support
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Tagged grief, post suicide survivor trauma, suicide, support groups
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Rituals
I found this article fascinating because it articulated something I believe to be true yet had not previously consciously considered. I had, and have, rituals. They’ve helped me. Though I don’t go to the cemetery often, I always go close … Continue reading →
Red Light, Green Light, In Between Light
A day or two before New Years Eve my grandmother called me. She wanted to know how I was feeling. And doing. My infant daughter had died in October. My mom’s dad in September. My other grandfather, her husband, months … Continue reading →
Posted in Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Memoir, Suicide
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Tagged choice, grief, losing a parent, responsibility, suicide
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4 Comments
Body Surf
Remember when I mentioned that sometimes I bulldoze my way in with thoughts and recommendations? Yeah? Today I share some of those because they’ve been important to me. Maybe for you, too. You’ll know. So, here is something I learned … Continue reading →
Posted in Back to Life, Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Support
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Tagged body surf, time heals, widowhood
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12 Comments
If You Hear Tears in the Night
I didn’t know my son, whose second floor bedroom was above mine, could easily hear me sob at night. Tears held back in daylight came to find me then. Sorrow already surfaced recycled in the dark. Switching sides of the … Continue reading →
Posted in Back to Life, Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Memoir, Suicide, Support
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Tagged healing, tears in the night
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2 Comments
The First Bite
It’s difficult believing how many years have passed since my husband’s sudden death. My son was 11. He is now 30. I’m remarried. I live in a different city with a different husband, a different career, and a changed life. … Continue reading →
Posted in Death & Dying, Memoir, Suicide
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Tagged directness, grief, loss, new normal, pamela hester king, suicide
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6 Comments