Category Archives: Suicide

Healing

Posted on June 12, 2020 by Pamela Hester King

Today Facebook reminded me that five years ago I made a post on my late husband’s birthday. He was 73 on that day. I didn’t need reminding. I already knew he’d be 78 today. I remembered yesterday, and this morning … Continue reading →

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Hope Lost

Posted on March 27, 2019 by Pamela Hester King

Suicide is the loss of belief that any day, or hour to come will be better, or that current unrelenting pain will abate, or be ameliorated even slightly. It is surrender to the belief that every moment will be as … Continue reading →

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Don’t Give Up

Posted on February 5, 2019 by Pamela Hester King

Last year after the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain I published a post titled, “And Then There’s Suicide”, seeking to shine a light on the legacy suicide leaves for its survivors. Super Bowl Sunday Kristoff St. John was added to … Continue reading →

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Truth

Posted on August 29, 2018 by Pamela Hester King

Recently I was a guest on The Kiss My Age Show podcast. The episode’s topic was  the “invisibility” of women of a certain age. (Check the App Store or Google Play on your device for a podcast subscription. If you’re a mid-century … Continue reading →

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And Then There’s Suicide

Posted on July 9, 2018 by Pamela Hester King

There is no “worst” thing about suicide because it’s all the worst. Every aspect, every horror, every guilt, every wish for a do-over; the keening of every parent whose child has chosen it, the longing for a lifetime of every … Continue reading →

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Men Who Fix Things

Posted on June 16, 2017 by Pamela Hester King

I relied on men to fix things. I didn’t know appliances weren’t meant to last forever. My dad fixed them. He kept everything working like new, and sometimes even better. Toys and water heaters, washing machines and hair dryers. That’s … Continue reading →

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Red Light, Green Light, In Between Light

Posted on February 23, 2013 by Pamela Hester King

A day or two before New Years Eve my grandmother called me. She wanted to know how I was feeling. And doing. My infant daughter had died in October. My mom’s dad in September. My other grandfather, her husband, months … Continue reading →

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My Down and Dirty

Posted on September 10, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

I didn’t know it’s Suicide Prevention Awareness Week. Didn’t even know it existed. Seems like something I’d know, doesn’t it? So sue me. I’m aware of the Out of Darkness overnight walk. My son and I occasionally say, Next year we’ll do … Continue reading →

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Un-Ringing

Posted on August 31, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

I remember what I wore that day. What my boy was wearing. We never wore those clothes again. We gave them away. Down to my favorite red winter coat with black velvet trim. I had looked at my watch. My … Continue reading →

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Insides and Outsides

Posted on August 24, 2012 by Pamela Hester King

I’d always been round. A chubby child. Pleasantly plump. Pink cheeks on fair skin. Dark, dark, wavy hair. A cherubic babe from a Renaissance painting born to a later era. I felt like a near-miss. Mine is the least reliable memory … Continue reading →

Posted in Grief, Loss, Memoir, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , | 94 Comments