Category Archives: Loss

Insides and Outsides

I’d always been round. A chubby child. Pleasantly plump. Pink cheeks on fair skin. Dark, dark, wavy hair. A cherubic babe from a Renaissance painting born to a later era. I felt like a near-miss. Mine is the least reliable memory … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, Loss, Memoir, Suicide | Tagged , , , , , | 94 Comments

If You Hear Tears in the Night

I didn’t know my son, whose second floor bedroom was above mine, could easily hear me sob at night. Tears held back in daylight came to find me then. Sorrow already surfaced recycled in the dark. Switching sides of the … Continue reading

Posted in Back to Life, Death & Dying, Grief, Loss, Memoir, Suicide, Support | Tagged , | 2 Comments

The Victim Is The Murderer

Journal Entry                                                                                                 March 18, 1993 Who is the man who murdered himself in our garage? Who’s the man who took such liberty with my life, and with my son’s? Who hated me … Continue reading

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Something Beautiful

Vicki carried the orchid to work one morning and set it on my desk. A white phalaenopsis nearly two feet tall in a beautiful cachepot nestled in a florist’s white gift box. Spanish moss covered the redwood planting bark. Three willowy bloom … Continue reading

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Support the Support

Meet my force field. When my husband died I had a group of strong, empathic, pragmatic, and compassionate women surrounding me, a loving albeit bereft family, and the men for whom I worked urging me back to my job (though in … Continue reading

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The Fine Print

This is what you need to know about this blog. Sometimes there will be journal entries. And sometimes there will be reflections, observations or stories about a point in time after my husband’s death. Occasionally you’ll find a combination or … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, Loss, Memoir, Support | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments